Sometimes in the heat of the moment, all we can think of is ripping off someone’s clothes and getting straight to the main event - sex. But, there’s a difference between giving into passion and having great sex, and the distinction lies in foreplay.
What is foreplay?
Foreplay is typically defined as erotic actions between two (or more) people aimed to arouse each other as a prelude to intercourse.
But believe it or not, just because you’re wet doesn’t mean you’re ready for sex. Foreplay actually plays a much more significant mental and physical role in preparing us for intercourse. And without it, we cut our chances of achieving an orgasm and could even put ourselves at risk of having painful sex - not exactly our idea of fun.
Physically, foreplay doesn’t just help women to self-lubricate, but it also helps change the landscape of the vagina. Just like penises, vaginas also contain an amount of erectile tissue. When sufficiently turned on, blood rushes to this erectile tissue, resulting in a number of physical changes known as ‘engorgement’. This ‘female erection’ causes the clitoris to increase around 2-3 times in size and allows the g-spot to swell and protrude, making stimulation a much more achievable feat. Foreplay also helps elongate the vaginal canal to create a hospitable environment for penetration.
Mentally, good foreplay allows us to switch our brains off. This ability to relax and release the tension in our minds can help us connect with our bodies and become more receptive to stimulation.
Simply put, without taking the time to really engage in foreplay, we open ourselves up to mediocre or even bad sex.
How to engage in good foreplay
There’s no magical button when it comes to foreplay, and what might work for one person may not work for another. This means that communication is vital - don’t be afraid to tell your partner what you like and don’t like. If you’re not sure of what you want, or if you’re looking to spice things up, there a few things you could try, such as massage, roleplay, sensory play, or even talking dirty.
Before you get carried away and rush into sex, remember that when it comes to foreplay, slow and steady wins the race. The longer the session goes, the greater the buildup, making sex that much better.
Foreplay also doesn’t have to be a prelude, it can be a main event on its own. Studies have shown that many people with vaginas don’t reach orgasm through intercourse alone, making outercourse that much more important.