Sex drive: How to get yourself in the mood for sex, according to the experts

Having difficulty getting in the mood for sexy time? These tips may help you get your engines going.

Turned on for sex
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Turned on for sex

Getting in the mood for sexy time is not easy for everyone. While some individuals get turned on with the mere thought of fornication, others take a longer time to get turned on.

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That's because our sex drive is heavily dependent on various aspects of daily life—including our stress levels, sleep cycle, diet, and much more.

So, for those of you who want an exciting sex life but are finding it hard to get the engine going, here are some tips that will awaken your sensuality.

Warm up for the activity

Much like another physical activity, sex also requires mental and physical stimulation. Let's face it, not everyone can get it on at the press of a button. And according to sex therapist, Vanessa Marin, women do take longer than men to get turned on. She tells Bustle:

It sounds cliche, but women do tend to take longer to warm up to sex than men do. A lot of women will get frustrated with themselves for not get turned on faster, instead of being patient and giving themselves time to feel desire.

To warm up, Marin suggests spending more time on yourfavourite foreplay. If you enjoy kissing or embracing your partner, then do so for 10 to 20 minutes. You can also mentally connect with each other just by talking. Whatever your medium of connection is, take time to build the desire gradually before you get down and dirty.

Turn to other forms of entertainment

A really good way to switch on your sex drive is by watching, reading, or listening to things that will get you going. If you’re into visuals, then tune into your favourite genre of porn. In case that’s too visual for your mood, then you can try listening to audio porn. MBG relationships recommends platforms like Audiodesires and Dipsea that have intricate sex stories that are guaranteed to make you weak in the knees.

Listen to your body

Forcing yourself to get turned on will never work. On the contrary, it may suppress your natural sex drive and repel you from the activity all together. Marin advises that you listen to your natural sex drive at all times. Say no when you’re not in the mood for sex, and take the time you need to build your own arousal. She adds:

Maintenance sex can be part of a healthy relationship, but you should feel comfortable turning down sex if you’re not in the mood (and your partner should be respectful of your decision).
Doing so may help you get more in tune with your own natural feelings of arousal and desire.
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