Relationships are rarely a smooth ride. Couples face ups and downs which often test the strength of a relationship. While some crumble under pressure, others seem to grow stronger. But what is it that keeps some couples together through the toughest times?
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Return on investment
When we enter into a relationship, most of us do so with the intention of experiencing a lasting, fulfilling and committed relationship. We invest time, effort and hard work in the relationship, as in an investment. Therefore, we tend to expect the relationship to bring us something in return, or to evolve into something meaningful. According to Eliana Goldstein, professional coach, leaving a relationship without getting a 'return on investment' tends to be perceived as a failure, as if we had 'wasted' our time. Instead of making the decision to leave, it's easier to stay and hope things improve.
Psychologist Shae Vian explains that there is a theory, The Investment Model, that applies to these situations. According to it, people stay in a relationship because of the considerable investment they have already made.This may include a house, children, financial responsibilities or even mutual friends. At a certain point, it may seem more logical to keep these things than to leave.
Weighing up the pros and cons
Some couples may also be constantly weighing up the pros and cons of leaving or staying. They often choose to stay if the perceived benefits of the current relationship outweigh the potential losses of leaving. Even if their vision is sometimes blurred, if they feel staying is a better idea, they are more likely to do so.
This article has been translated Oh!MyMag France
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