Here's how to ghost someone you're dating ethically

Here are our tips on how to 'gracefully ghost' someone for that tricky situation when you really have to...

Here's how to ghost someone you're dating ethically
© Shame/Film4
Here's how to ghost someone you're dating ethically

Let’s be real: ghosting sucks. It's one of modern dating’s most nerve-wracking phenomena. Ghosting feels terrible when it happens to you, as you’re left pondering and panicking over why that person just cut off communication without warning. And it's not much better to be the ghost either...

Discover our latest podcast

However, if you really feel the need to ghost someone, here's how to do so in least terrible way possible:

How to ghost

Whether the person was simply insufferable and it’s difficult to tell them to their face, or the person was nice but there didn’t seem to be that spark, sometimes it can seem easier to just disappear. But we all know that it’s not the right thing to do. Being honest and straight up with someone is always the best solution.

However, we know life is complicated, so here's the best way to do both with a diminished guilty conscience. This is what we like to call 'graceful ghosting.'

Part 1

  • Really make up your choice to go ghost. This can be a maneuver that will likely lead to the relationship never getting picked back up again. So, keep that in mind. If you are firm in that decision, move on to the next step!
  • Send them one last correspondence to make them aware of the situation. You do not have to fully explain yourself as to why, just firmly but kindly state your intentions. You can send a message to the effect of one of these three lines:
  1. 'It was really nice to meet you, but I don’t think this is going to work out. I wish you all the best.'
  2. 'I had a really nice time hanging out with you, but I didn’t really feel a spark. Hope life treats you well.'
  3. 'Hey, I’m not in a position in my life where I can be in a relationship right now. I’ve realized my commitment is to other things at the moment.'
thumbnail
Here's how to ethically ghost Getty Images

Part 2

  • Start diminishing your responsiveness. Start taking progressively longer to reply to texts, or start not giving a response to things sent or tagged on social media. The duration of the relationship with the other person is key here. If you have known them for longer, be ready for them to take a bit more time to be accustomed to this change.
  • Once the boundaries of lower to no communication have been set, now is the time to softly unfollow them on social media, to ensure that you are not going to want to contact or be contacted by them again.
  • Don’t look back on your decision, and move on gracefully. Like we said, ghosting is a pretty permanent move. Reaching out to the person again can confuse them, or bring back their unpleasant feelings toward the situation. It is best to close the chapter with dignity, and keep moving forward.

Now you know how to ghost with (at least some) grace. Remember that openly and honestly communicating how you feel are always the best options, but, this is a good strategy for when you feel as if you cannot for whatever reason.

Sources used:

Love Panky: 'Ghosting Someone: Ways to Disappear Quickly and Get Away Clean'

Drivethru: '10 Things You Can Say Instead Of Ghosting Someone'

Wiki How: 'How to Ghost Someone'

Orbiting: The toxic dating trend worse than ghosting Orbiting: The toxic dating trend worse than ghosting