Commitment phobia is more common than we care to admit or like to address. We often use it casually while, in fact, commitment issues are pretty complex. They do not always arise out of fear. Factors like people’s upbringing, past trauma, family history, failed relationship experiences and more affect how a person behaves in a relationship and hence, breed issues and phobia.
It is deeper than what it appears on the surface. It makes you not want to commit or sabotage the relationships, even when you love someone. It could be challenging to recognize when a pattern of short-term relationships is sheer bad luck or due to some deep-rooted issue working in the background. However, here are some signs that provide clarity
No labels, just vibes
You don’t want to date seriously, even if you like someone. You are happy to be with a person and act like you are in a relationship but, when terms like ‘girlfriend/boyfriend’ or ‘fiancé’ start to appear, you get an uncontrollable urge to end the relationship.
The ‘F' word isn't future for you
Most people, at some point in time during their relationships, do think about its future. While it’s good to enjoy the present with your partner, an inability to think about the next level could suggest commitment issues.
Questioning the basis of the relationship
A relationship is supposed to make you feel secure, wanted, valued and loved. However, if you continue to question the basis of it to a point where it causes emotional stress, despite your partner putting in the necessary work could be a sign of trouble.
Struggling with emotional attachment
Emotional vulnerability brings people closer. Sometimes it could be because the person you are seeing is just not right for you. However, if you do not feel emotionally invested in any of your partners, consider if commitment issues are holding you back.
Friends and family freak you out
Meeting your significant other’s loved ones is always a huge step that indicates the next level of the relationship. Although if friends and family are totally off-limits for you or introducing them to yours is a huge no-go, you are welcome to join the commitment phobia club.
Insta-official is a no go!
Likewise, if you are in a happy relationship and making it official on Instagram seems pretty huge or big for you, that would be your next sign. If you don’t want to be insta-official to hide your relationship, that’s a separate issue. But in most other cases, it suggests that you are uneasy about the commitment.
Taking easy exits
Lastly, if you seek to exit at the first sign of trouble or intimacy, it could be because you are scared of commitment. Having to work through a relationship and grow together is scary to you and, you would rather leave in the early stages when it’s easier for you to get over the person.