There are more forms of sexuality than one might think. In recent years, through social media and through the work of some publications, more have entered the public conversation. Pansexuality, sapiosexuality, asexuality and aromanticism and there are probably more that need to be spoken about.
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In this article, we take a look at demisexuality.
What does it mean to be demisexual?
The term demisexuality was first used in 2006 by a member of Asexual Visibility and Education Network (Aven). According to GLAAD, demisexuality falls under the umbrella of asexuality. According to them, a demisexual person is:
a person who does experience some sexual attraction, but only in certain situations, for example, after they have formed a strong emotional or romantic connection with a partner
In other words, demisexuals need to have a real affective bond before going any fur
Halfway between sexuality and asexuality
Demisexuality is often confused with its sister term: asexuality.
However, asexuality describes 'person who does not experience sexual attraction'. Whereas, being demisexuality doesn't refer to an absence of desire, but to a need for an emotional connection in order for sexual attraction to appear. Demisexuality is often perceived as a sexual orientation somewhere between sexuality and asexuality. This explains why some demisexuals have less sexual energy than others.
Generally speaking, demisexuals will be attracted to someone only once they feel respected and valued for who they are, and when a real connection is established between them and the person or people of choice.
Demisexuality is therefore hardly compatible with one-night stands.
Remember, there's nothing abnormal about being demisexual. It's simply a different way to be. But it's important to say it over and over again, because sometimes it can make you feel out of place. Especially for teenagers, when conversations revolve more and more around sexuality and considering the fact that it's usually the time for sexual discoveries.
For example, for demisexuals, it can seem impossible to kiss someone you only met five minutesago. It's important to talk about the different types of sexuality in order to raise awareness about their existence. This will help us paymore attention to the people around us and their differences. It's also a way of showing demisexuals and others that they're not alone.
The first two sources cited below are also very useful tools that can answer some of your questions.
This article was translated from OMMFR
The Guardian: No lust at first sight: why thousands are now identifying as ‘demisexual’