A practical guide on how to survive with your soulmate in a cramped flat

Are you madly in love, but forced to lockdown together in a cramped space? Here's a guide to avoiding arguments, and realise all you need is love.

New Girl
© Allociné / 20th Television
New Girl

If you live with your partner, being together 24 hours a day can be a real test of whether your relationship holds up no matter what, and whether the two of you are meant to be together. So, how do you cohabit with each other in the same space without life going sour? Well, it's all about organization and, crucially, communication.

Discover our latest podcast

Create some alone time

In order not to become dependent on the other and their schedule, we let them go about their business to take the time needed for their own activities. But for people who work from home or who work as licensed professionals, two problems get added into the mix: to manage to remain productive and to set up a work environment, even whilst in love.

Granted, it's easier to do so in a big house than in a small flat, but you try to delineate the spaces. And if you have no choice but to stay physically close, you'd best respect the other's concentration - even if you feel the urge to tease them a mite. At least working from home has the advantage of keeping your mind focused, while keeping you away from your partner for a while (at least a bit).

This arrangement is valid for the rest of the day. Together, you can determine moments for one another outside of working hours, get some exercise done, take a nap, read a book, try a meditation session - anything in order to relieve the pressure a bit. Above all, you must not wait until you can no longer stand your partner before you go take a walk outside (so to speak).

...and some time together

If confinement has made one thing easier, it's got to be being able to focus once more on the essential: eat well, sleep, take time on yourself ... and take care of each other. In your little cocoon, you can plan lunch breaks together, cooking workshops, board games or TV show sessions, a big spring cleaning or more intimate evenings...

This time is therefore an opportunity to develop good habits, but also to plan a whole bunch of projects for the two of you. So make plans for the future, organize getaways, trips, put your wildest desires on paper. It's a way to escape from your home, not to focus on conflicts and to project yourself into the future.

In addition, with a daily life that we know to be rather hectic, sex life can be affected. By staying cloistered at home, you are less in demand from the outside, less tired... and more inclined to be tempted. Why not take the opportunity to spice up your sessions between the sheets with new practices, and (re) discover the body of your loved one?

One key word: communication

Do not hesitate to share any of your anxieties and doubts with your partner. To stow in your mind and moods for yourself always ends up exploding. For this, you can rely on the advice of the book The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom by Miguel Ruiz. Easy-to-remember precepts for better communication, including:

  • Let your word be impeccable: 'Speak with integrity, only say what you think. Do not use speech against yourself or to slander others'
  • Never make it personal: 'What others say and do is only a projection of their own reality. When you are immune to it, you are no longer a victim of unnecessary suffering'
  • Don't make any assumptions: 'Have the courage to ask questions and express your true desires. Communicate clearly with others to avoid sadness, misunderstandings and drama'
  • Always do your best: 'Your 'best' changes from moment to moment. Whatever the circumstances, just do your best and you will avoid judging yourself.'

As for the subject of avoidable arguments - household chores or television times, for example; the same goes, like everything else, you must share: once you, once me. For grocery, ditto, alternate. And you may take advantage of this short moment outside to savour this ephemeral freedom and take a step back from the situation.

Phone sex: Tips and tricks on how to successfully get it done Phone sex: Tips and tricks on how to successfully get it done