Dating is difficult, especially when you don't know if the person you're talking to shares your interests. If you're seeking something more than a romp in the sack but aren't sure if you and your date are on the same page, a dating expert's advice can help you figure it out. Persia Lawson, a dating specialist, reveals the six red flags to watch out for if you're scared that they only want one thing.
To begin with, look at the most obvious—'what are you up to?' texts late on a Saturday night. If they say they'll send an Uber or come over to your house, but never want to meet up during the day, then it’s clear that they only want to have sex. This is just a booty call at the end of the night when no one else is available.
Pile on pressure
A feeling of pressure is a warning sign. They may be physically aggressive with you early on, or they may make sexual innuendos or jokes. They may make you feel nervous by being overly forthright, and this may make you feel anxious. When you're with them, the exchanges may be physical, but if they continuously mention sex and it's always at the forefront of the relationship when they're communicating, that's not a good sign.
Good time not a long time
If they say they only want to have some fun and aren't searching for something serious, it could be a red flag. It's no unusual to hear that from someone who has recently ended a significant relationship. However, in some cases it can indicate that they're only searching for a fun night out rather than a long-term relationship. Lawson confirms:
If they say they're not looking for anything serious - what they're really saying is: 'I just want to bonk and bounce'!
Someone who maintains a superficial degree of touch or dynamic is typically only looking for one form of intimacy. They may be having a surface chat with you and not attempting to get to know you on a deeper level. They may still ask the routine questions now and then, but conversation can feel rushed and impersonal. On the other hand, some people want you to think they're incredibly profound, but they're actually luring you in with a false sense of security so you'll open up and sleep with them. Either of the scenarios are a no-go!
No friends hangout
Keep an eye out for those who don't want to spend time with your pals or even have you hang out with theirs. Because they only want sex, some people cancel at the last minute and show no interest in interacting with you outside of just the two of you. It sounds terrible, but it happens on occasion when someone feels embarrassed by the person they're with and doesn't want their friends to know. If someone wants to do more than just have sex with you, they're really looking forward to seeing your friends and family.
If someone is only looking for sex, they aren't as concerned with impressing you and investing in you as they would be if they really cared about you. This is common for people who go out on many dates and cannot afford to pay for everyone. However, the moment they meet someone they like, they'll gladly open their pocketbook.