In this era of online dating, every trick in the world of seduction is fair game. Today we tend to look for quality by focusing on quantity, we want someone decent but are only interested in those who act aloof. In short welcome to dating 2.0.
There are clearly no limits to the different methods of seduction if we can call them that. But now there’s a new term called 'benching'. The word comes from the term ‘substitutes’ bench.’ What does this new method consist of? There’s no need to spell it out for you; those who practice this keep several possibilities ‘on the bench’ as they look for that special someone. In other words, you’re just a backup!
How do you know if a guy is ‘benching’ you?
You’ve gone out several times, you may have even started to flirt with each other, yet you can’t quite put your finger on why it doesn’t feel like he’s completely together with you. It's simple, it’s because he’s not.
He enjoys spending time with you but is waiting for something better to come along. Someone who he’ll click with more than with you. This is why he’ll disappear for a few days and then come back with an Instagram like or a sneaky message on Facebook. It will become clear why he isn’t more attentive.
If the guy is honest, he will tell you straight up that he just does not want to be together with you. In general, so as not to upset you, he will say that he doesn't want a relationship right now, no matter the person. Frankly, the real reason is that he just does not want to be in a relationship with you, and he does not care that much about you.
A man who ‘benches’ you just wants something on the side when he is bored. And as soon as you think you're done with him, he'll suddenly reappear and try to win you back with his well-written text messages.
So at least you’re free to accept this situation and do the same thing, i.e. flirting while waiting for something better. However, more often than not you are more into the person who is benching you than the other way around. It is therefore important to think about what you deserve before thinking about what you’re feeling (or rather what you think you’re feeling). Proof that sometimes your heart can deceive you.