Couple gave baby up for adoption after deciding they didn’t want her

This couple have decided that their three-month-old is ‘not a good fit’ for their family.

Couple gave baby up for adoption
© Michal Bar Haim / UNSPLASH
Couple gave baby up for adoption

Having a baby is by no means an easy decision nor an easy task. However, people were shocked to hear this dad’s plans for his newborn. He took to Reddit to ask for advice after he and his wife Catherine decided that the best thing to do was to give their three-month-old up for adoption after deciding she was 'not a good fit' for them.

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The man explained that he would be seeking legal advice from a lawyer in order to make this unexpected move, but wanted to ask on the online forum beforehand so he had ‘some idea of what to expect’. People online were shocked by this story, with some pointing out that a mother’s lack of connection with a baby could be a sign of postnatal depression (PND). Here’s what has ended up happening to the unwanted child.

The three-month-old was ‘not a good fit’

The dad explained that:

I know that babies sometimes cry for no reason and that picking Elizabeth up every time she cries could reinforce the crying, shouldn't she at least pick her up and soothe her a bit? Plus, even when she's not crying, Catherine doesn't interact with her.

Many have suggested that this could be a sign of PND, which the NHS describes as ‘a common problem, affecting more than 1 in every 10 women within a year of giving birth’.

However, the dad really hammered the parents’ priorities home when he said that the baby was making taking holidays awkward for [his] wife’.

The parents faced backlash

Elizabeth’s grandmother had been very involved in the child’s care, looking after the baby girl during the day while her parents were at work. The dad revealed that she had not taken the adoption plan well:

My wife broke the news to my mother-in-law of our decision to adopt. She reacted poorly, which is to be expected, and with a great deal of yelling. This did not endear her to my wife, who finds yelling annoying, but attempts to placate the yelling resulted in more yelling.

The grandmother blamed her ex for creating a daughter who would do such a thing, and revealed that she had never liked her daughter’s partner. He said the situation escalated:

It went on to the point that Catherine eventually threatened to ensure my mother-in-law never saw our daughter again if she would not be reasonable. That quieted my mother-in-law enough for my wife to layout how the upcoming months would go.

Elizabeth’s grandmother to adopt

Elizabeth’s parents explained to the older woman that she could adopt her grandchild if she wanted. The new dad explained:

My sister-in-law would be a permissible alternate. Otherwise, we would pursue outside arrangements. As many predicted, my mother-in-law opted to assume custody herself and we started that process after Thanksgiving.

Elizabeth’s grandmother took the baby, left the house and stayed in a hotel. Since, from what the man knows, his rejected baby and mother-in-law have been staying with his sister-in-law.

He said:

My mother-in-law thus far refused any and all offers of financial aid, but we are prepared to [pay child support if/when the time arrives.

Opinion online is divided as some claim the couple didn’t even ‘try’ to be parents before jumping ship while others take a slightly colder, but arguably logical approach. While one commenter said the couple should have at least attempted therapy, another wrote:

I don't understand why everyone is so mad. They're s****y parents and realise that. The kid is probably better off being put up for adoption.

What do you think?

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Sources used:

NHS: Overview - Postnatal depression

Mirror: 'We're putting our baby up for adoption - she's not a good fit for the family'

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