Nine signs your relationship is leading to divorce
Summer holidays aren’t all sandy beaches and cocktails. For many midlife couples, those sun-soaked days together can bring hidden relationship cracks into sharp focus — and sometimes, they’re enough to tip a wobbly marriage over the edge.
It’s a shock to realise how a long-anticipated break can become a relationship stress-test. Why are more couples than ever finding themselves in trouble just when they’re meant to be relaxing? Sheela Mackintosh-Stewart, a top divorce lawyer and relationship coach with three decades of experience, lifts the lid on why ‘divorce season’ isn’t just for January — and why that dreaded “D-word” could do more harm than you think.
Midlife couples: Why summer holidays put relationships under the microscope
Despite January being labelled “divorce month,” the real spike in calls to divorce lawyers can actually come after the summer break. Mackintosh-Stewart explains how weeks together in a new environment often expose tensions simmering below the surface at home. The familiar rhythm is gone, replaced by a laser focus on each other’s habits, flaws or simply growing distance. It’s not rare for couples to spend more time together in two overloaded holiday weeks than they have done for months, sometimes with uncomfortable results. She recalls clients saying:
“If this what two weeks together feels like, how will we survive retirement?”
Crucial flashpoints: The holiday habits that reveal where couples fall apart
Tension on holiday rarely appears out of nowhere. Mackintosh-Stewart points to nine “flashpoints” that can quietly escalate — everything from mismatched plans (one wants adventure, the other downtime), money spats over “flashing the cash,” all the way to intimacy issues and the silent treatment. Problems like losing curiosity about your partner or arguing over every meal may seem minor but take on a new intensity without daily distractions. For blended or extended families, balancing group activities with couple time creates another challenge. And the phones aren’t innocent: scrolling social media in bed or checking work emails over dinner can leave your partner feeling ignored. She sums it up: these triggers don’t just cause fights, they “reveal or magnify relationship cracks which might have been hiding in plain sight back home.”
The numbers underline this trend. According to Mackintosh-Stewart, separations among women aged 65 and older have risen by 38% over the last decade, showing even long-established marriages face growing pressures.
Can you really “divorce-proof” your summer? The expert’s advice
The good news is these holiday hazards aren’t unavoidable. Mackintosh-Stewart advises discussing expectations before you pack. If one wants exploration and the other prefers lazy pool days, agree to fit in “one activity chosen by each partner and one activity together” daily. If intimacy has dwindled, she stresses little gestures count — “kiss each other goodbye, hold hands, hug for at least six seconds.” When silence takes over, reignite curiosity: ask one meaningful question a day, even after the trip (cheat sheets welcome). Getting honest about budgets, agreeing on family time, and setting screen-free rules at meals can also ease common tensions.
Most importantly, avoid throwing around “the D-word” in anger. Mackintosh-Stewart warns couples to banish “divorce” as a threat:
“If you do blurt it out, make sure to say, ‘I'm sorry. I was angry and overwhelmed. I don't want a divorce. I shouldn't have said that.’”
Calmer words often outweigh heated outbursts on holiday.
Does your relationship survive the summer test?
Even the strongest couples hit rough patches, but these summer trials can prompt a wake-up call or a chance to reconnect. For some, they reveal habits that need a tune-up; for others, they sadly mark a breaking point. Mackintosh-Stewart has witnessed it all — from clients splitting after one explosive holiday row, to those using post-holiday insights to build stronger bonds. Her upcoming book, How to Stay Together: 12 Daily Habits to Strengthen Your Relationship (Octopus, out 21 January 2027) promises practical tips proving that steady, small actions—not magical holidays—sustain lasting love.
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Sources used:
The one word that could kill your marriage this summer: I'm a top divorce lawyer and this is the mistake you must avoid... and the nine signs your relationship is in trouble
