Dating is a minefield for many people. Jacqui Baker, a professional dating coach, knows how to play Cupid for the over-50s because she has made many of the same mistakes people do while searching for love. She runs Select Connections, a Southampton-based over-50s dating service.
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Don’t rush
The mother of three told The Sun that her biggest mistake when looking for a new life partner following divorce was rushing in too early. She believes women who act desperate are making a significant mistake. She said:
As women get into their fifties, there is an element of desperation and panic, where they’re thinking, ‘I don’t want to be alone as I get old’.
Lonely people end up rushing into the wrong relationships and compromising on values.
I always tell my clients, ‘Don’t go looking for a spark — where has that got you before? Take your time. Don’t set yourself up to fail again’.
So many people go into a relationship knowing, deep down, it’s not right because they’re desperate not to be alone. But they’ll only find themselves single again a couple of years down the line.
Having herself rushed into a relationship after divorce that didn’t last, she tells all her clients to take it slow.
Safety first
Another dating expert, Charly Lester, suggests that people should look out for possible red flagslike money requests and avoid such people. And she advises people to meet in a public place for the first time. Don't allow your date to pick you up or drop you off until you've gotten to know them, and don't give too much personal information early on.
Take a different approach
Jacqui works as a full-time dating expert for over 50s now and advises people to not be excessively fussy and overlook possible partners because of minor details. She said:
If you stop focusing on aesthetics, you have more chance of making it last. You’re not purely judging someone on what they look like.
At 50 or 60, you’re really set in your ways. What side of the bed you sleep on, how you drink your tea, what you watch on the telly.
Look for an activity
Charly suggests that If you're afraid about the discussion dying, don't just go for a coffee or a drink—it will feel too much like an interview, and you won't have any outside conversation starters. Choose an activity that provides natural distractions and conversation openers, such as walking around side by side. It's less daunting, and you'll be able to do something enjoyable instead of wasting your day or evening if you don't like the other person.
