If you have a habit of gently teasing your partner, and he or she doesn't hesitate to do the same, your relationship is on the right track! Teasing couples are more likely to last over time!
We asked the advice of psychoanalyst and graphologist Sophie Derisbourg. Humour can be a way to communicate with your partner, and we know that communication within a relationship is paramount.
But let's be honest, not everyone has a refined sense of humour! Sophie Derisbourg explained that ‘without talking about humour, when the love-fusion phase is over and we realise that we are two different beings, we have to build and co-construct the continuation of the loving relationship.’
It's a phase that happens after the initial meeting, after the beginning of the relationship. Humour can be a way to co-construct the continuation. Sophie Derisbourg quotes the doctor and homeopath Olivier Soulier, who describes it as ‘shared inhibition.’ ‘That is to say, “I accept to go onto the other's territory,” and vice versa’, says the psychoanalyst.
Again, it is a matter of communication:
Sophie Derisbourg explained that ‘it requires - even without talking about humour above all - to be able to talk about it, to “meta-communicate,”’ that is to say to look at the problem from above and to be able to exchange in order to move forward.
If there is no voice in the couple in the face of difficulties and the acceptance of being different, it is likely to be very complicated.
So if, within a relationship, we manage to laugh at the shortcomings of the other or at the little quirks that annoy us, rather than cursing or reproaching the other systematically, it is a beautiful proof of the maturity of the relationship: ‘I will say that when we manage to laugh about it, it is because we are already good in our way of understanding ourselves and the other, and that the Selves have diminished.’