Here is a new dating trend for you. It’s known as fleabagging and involves constantly hanging out with people who are not suitable for you.
We have already had ghosting, wokefishing and many more, and we bet your dating dictionary is getting quite long by now. Well, now you can now add the word ‘fleabagging' to it as well. Don’t worry though, it’s not as complicated as it sounds.
As Men’s Health explains, this term is taken from Phoebe Waller-Bridge’s TV series Fleabag that was released in 2016. In the show, we follow the adventures of the antiheroine played by the creator-herself and, in particular, her chaotic romantic relationships. She makes a series of hap-hazardous choices when it comes to her relationships and turns to face the camera to explain her toxic decisions to the viewer with some rather incredibly punchlines. Inevitably, many people identify with this character and as a result, the magazine has described fleabagging as ‘dating people who are not good for us.’
While the term fleabagging is, of course, brand new, what it involves is not new at all. Many people do this because the idea that lovemust be complicated is a constant theme, as Haylee Quinn, dating expert at Cosmopolitan explains.
A lot of it comes down to unrealistic ideas around romance that are kept alive by books and films… if we expect love to be a constant on-again, off-again battle, then we may be more inclined to accept behaviour that we shouldn’t in our relationships.
The problem is that in fiction, storylines and love are created to be more complicated by the writers so that they can pull the strings and keep the story going. In real life, things don’t work that way, and it’s important not to forget that!
How to avoid fleabagging?
This is the million dollar question: how do you get out of the vicious cycle? As the experts say, just learn from your mistakes.
You have to ‘start to identify your role in the romantic choices you make. When you start to acknowledge, ‘Okay I should maintain a boundary’, or ‘Next time I’ll walk away at that red flag’ (things that your partner does that indicate a lack of respect, integrity or interest in the relationship), you’ll empower yourself to make different choices.’
So keep an eye out for those red flags and don’t let them slip past you next time!