What if it only took three steps to diffuse any conflict you may be having with a child? This is what an educational method advocated by British psychotherapists claims to do.
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There is a three-step process that is able to resolve all disputes with a toddler. How does this miracle solution work? This process developed by Heather Turgeon and Julie Wright is known as the ‘ALP’ model - Attune, Limit Set, Problem Solve. Both specialists have described this method in detail in their book ‘Now Say This.’
‘It’s about setting clear limits and enforcing the rules, but also helping your child make better choices and solve the problem,’ the authors told The Independent. ‘When parents show empathy and stay firm, children tend to turn to their inner sense of right and wrong.’
Empathy and Assertiveness
In the event of disputes, such as fitfulness, distress, refusal to go to bed, conflict with siblings, the first step is to ‘agree.’ To do this, put yourself at the same height as the child and explain that you understand their disappointment or anger.
The second step is to ‘set limits’, explaining the situation to the child and what you expect them to do.
The final step is ‘solving the problem,’ by finding a compromise that will avoid frustration. Through this the child will defer to the parent on their own.
This method is therefore a combination of empathy and assertiveness. ‘The most important thing is to show your child that you are trying to figure out what’s wrong, even if his or her behaviour seems totally irrational’ the experts say to the British daily newspaper.
Now it’s up to you to try it out!
